#there was a rare Pokémon near the cocaine

[charlieandluigi]

Homie on that hustle

[citrusswag]

So, me, my siblings, and my cousins like to play DnD together and we usually just make our own games because none of us have the brain capacity to learn the regular rules. Right now my cousin is DMing a game that takes place in the Alola region of the Pokémon universe during an apocolypptic time of deatha nd destruction due to the UltraBeasts, and I just feel like sharing some absolutely WILD things that my character has done thus far:

Dumped cocaine into the ocean to kill a Wailord

Got sick of the sheer amount of Rattatas she ran into and started killing them with rat poison

Seduced a Snorlax into her party

Decided to start a small business during the apocalypse that sells nothing but t shirts that say “I survived the apocalypse and all I got was this lousy t shirt”

Started a rave in a refugee shelter

While everyone else was fighting bad guys she stayed inside said refugee shelter singing “Party rock anthem” and “Party in the USA”

After being taken to a military base, being threatened, having one of her party members shot twice, and her Pokémon threatened, went supersane and attacked a guard because she learned they stole her small business money

After being shot 4 times in the foot and locked in a cell in said military base, proceeds to use the blood from her gunshot wound to write a giant 69 on the wall of her cell

After being let out of her cell and given food, demanded a water bottle and on receiving said water bottle, flips it (and lands it)

Attempted to consume a Cosmog

Succeeded in consuming a rare candy

Defeated a Nihiglio with the combined powers of dance and jazz

Bought weed from a worker in the government compound

Has been sedated multiple times due to her unpredictable and dangerous actions and apparently sedatives don’t work on her and uses being sedated as an excuse to nap

When faced with a situation where stealth is necessary, completely ignores that and charges across the room and blocks it off with a giant artifact near the door with the grappling hook she has.